How to Own Your Power With Difficult People in 3 Steps

Happy Friday y’all!

 

Today let’s consider if we have someone in our lives who challenges our ability to trust and care for ourselves. When we hear that person’s voice or are in his or her presence, we may forget all we know about what is real, about how to own our power, about how to be direct, about what we know and believe to be true, and about how important we are.

We give up our power to that person.

The child in us gets hooked with a mixture of powerful feelings – love, fear, or anger. We may feel trapped, helpless, or so attracted that we can’t think straight. There may be a powerful tug of war going between feelings of anger and our need to be loved and accepted, or between our head and our heart.

We may be so enamored or intimidated that we revert to our belief that we can’t react or respond to this person any differently.

We get hooked.

Yet, we don’t have to stay under a spell. We start by becoming aware of the people who hook us, and then accepting that. We can force ourselves through the motions of reacting differently to that person, even if that new reaction is awkward and uncomfortable.

Let’s search out our motivations.

Are we somehow trying to control or influence the other person? We cannot change the other person, but we can stop playing our part of the game.

We can't change the challenging people in our lives, but we can stop playing our part of the game.Click To Tweet

One good way to do this is by detaching and letting go of any need to control.

The next step is learning to own our power to take care of ourselves, to be who we are and free from their influence. We can learn to own our power with difficult people.

It may not happen overnight, but we can begin, today, to change our self-defeating reactions to the people who have hooked us.

Higher Power, help us to identify the relationships where we have forfeited our power. Help us unhook and begin owing our power! Many blessings and much love!

~~Chaplain Roger Ward

3 Steps to Own Your Power With Difficult People

  1. Search out the motivations.
  2. Detach and let go of any need to control.
  3. Own the power & right to self-care, to be who you are and free of negative influence.

There will be difficult people & circumstances in life.  Expect it.  We can’t always control who is in our lives & why. But we can take control of our inner child to choose how we react & interact with others in a way that does not impact our own positive energy.

What helps you to stay grounded when others around you challenge your right to self-love & self-care?

Enjoy!

\ní-ˈkō-lä\
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About me

I love food & wine, paint & power tools.
I am a creative introvert, programmer turned decorator, wife and mom, & mental health advocate.
I am the decorator owner of Xtraordinary by Design. My mission – rid the world of builder beige & furniture sets.

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2 Responses

  1. Great share, love your perspective. I learned long ago what works for me is removing myself. I can only control my actions and my words so I make sure I take responsibility for myself. Have a great weekend.

    • N'Ckyola says:

      Hi Mari. Agreed if at all possible, that’s the best. I have been in situations with employers/co-workers where I could not immediately remove myself (or remove myself for long enough to diffuse the situation). Things would get volatile, stressful & just suck all my energy. It took a while for me to realize that I needed to take control of how I dealt with or reacted to such people & not get sucked in.
      Through interactions like that I had to learn to be gracefully cordial but not otherwise engage.

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